An Inclusive and Inoffensive (and Almost Certainly Lawsuit-Safe)

Seasons Greetings from Pun Salad

(Original authorship unknown, adapted shamelessly ripped off from Achenblog.)

From me "the wishor" to you "the wishee," please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally responsible, socially conscious, energy efficient, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of a winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions, I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms:

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal. This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged. This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes. This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor. This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor. Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Savior", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.This greeting is made under United States Law.

Dated this 22nd day of December, in the year two thousand five.


Last Modified 2012-10-25 3:54 PM EDT

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

[Amazon Link] [4.5 stars] [IMDb Link]

Mrs. Salad and Pun Son went to choir practice; Pun Daughter went to a friend's birthday party; nothing on TV. But I'd been thinking about seeing this movie, and it came to our local dinky movie theater, so …

This movie was written and directed by Shane Black, previously known for writing and producing some of the ultraviolent brain-dead (but fun) blockbusters of the late '80s and early '90s (e.g., Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, The Long Kiss Goodnight). This, in contrast, is a little movie. The protagonist, Harry Lockhart (played by Robert Downey Jr.) narrates with the full knowledge that it is a movie, which is an interesting twist. He's a small-time New York crook who gets thrown into a noirish murder/kidnapping plot in LA. The plot is in-your-face about its own unbelievability, and has no problem mashing together jokes, violence, sex, and ugly perversion.

In short, recommended, but I think you'll have to hustle to catch it in the theatres. (On the other hand, it's not the kind of movie that would lose much in a DVD viewing, so don't go nuts.)

Larry Miller has a small but (as usual) dead on performance. Amazon link above goes to the movie soundtrack, they don't have a picture for the DVD yet.


Last Modified 2012-10-25 3:54 PM EDT

URLs du Jour -- 12/23/2005

  • Happy Festivus, ye fargin' heathens! GeekPress points to the relevant, hugely entertaining, Wikipedia entry.
  • Stuart Buck points out a government invasion of privacy that (unfortunately) not enough people get upset about.
  • Why I read Ann Althouse: she can puncture a hot-air balloon (in this case, a New York Times review of Munich) in less than 30 words.
  • Daniel Drezner posts a chilling article summarizing why the upcoming baseball season might seem unusually long for Red Sox fans. Majorly dedicated Soxers probably already know this stuff, but if you're a contented dilettante like me, it's a good, albeit depressing, summary.

Last Modified 2005-12-23 3:44 PM EST