Why I Know I'm Gonna Like the New Indiana Jones Movie

Because the Commies hate it:

"Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (are) second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA. We need to deprive these people of the right of entering the country," said another party member, Andrei Gindos.
"Bad news, Cate. Looks like our publicity tour of Novokuznetsk, Lipetsk, and Omsk is off."
Other communists said the generation born after the 1991 collapse of the Soviet Union were being fed revisionist, Hollywood history. They advocated banning the Indiana Jones outright to prevent "ideological sabotage."

"Our movie-goers are teenagers who are completely unaware of what happened in 1957," St Peterburg Communist Party chief Sergei Malinkovich told Reuters.

"They will go to the cinema and will be sure that in 1957 we made trouble for the United States and almost started a nuclear war."

"It's rubbish ... In 1957 the communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the U.S. Why should we agree to that sort of lie and let the West trick our youth?"

It's for the children! "Sorry, little comrades: tonight's showing of Indiana Jones has been replaced with a Lillian Hellman film festival."

Last Modified 2008-09-30 1:58 PM EDT