From our local newspaper's website, some of the activities of Rochester, New Hampshire's police between May 27 and June 2:
Tuesday, May 27I can't help but think that someone is getting away with something here. Hope it continues.
6:20 a.m. — On Old Dover Road, a man reports one vehicle has been smeared with feces and the other was spat upon.
6:45 a.m. — A coyote is clunked on the Route 202 bypass.
9:33 a.m. — A neighborly dispute on Salmon Falls Road features spitting on a driveway.
10:12 a.m. — At the station a man reports getting a strange message on his cell phone, to whit: "It looks like she's dead." These dire words have come from a phone in Dover. Police there track it to a city landscaper and discover he was talking about a dead sprinkler head. So she may be restored to life.
10:46 a.m. — Sidewalk cyclists on the Square are told they should not pedal there.
11:17 a.m. — A man who took his motorcycle to Winter Street for a repair finds the repairman has left town with "everything including his motorcycle."
2:57 p.m. — The animal control officer is on the trail of a loose beagle on Western Avenue.
4:10 p.m. — During a disturbance at Salmon Falls Estates, a kid's bike is thrown around and yelling is noticed.
4:27 p.m. — A man gets an iffy check from Ontario and asks if it's a scam. He tries calling the bank, and then shreds the paperwork.
6:23 p.m. — Music crankers win a warning on Periwinkle Drive.
Wednesday, May 28
1:09 p.m. — At Royal Crest Mobile Home Park a cat is up a tree; arborists will pluck it off, if they can collect a fee.
8:12 p.m. — A dead dog on North Main Street is reclassified as a raccoon.
8:38 p.m. — Fireworks on Congress Street prevent young schoolchildren sleeping.
9:31 p.m. — A lady's sister's ex-boyfriend screams and pounds doors and windows. Later, slashed tires are discovered.
Friday, May 30
1:21 a.m. — After someone jumps into traffic near North Main Street bridge, a person is taken to Frisbie with a bump on his head.
11:22 a.m. — Two strange sheep munch in a Dry Hill Road yard, but then move along.
6:09 p.m. — There is a black bear in an Oak Street yard laying at the base of a tree. Someone has invited a bunch of buddies over to see it. It later ambles off, but then a food delivery guy reports "a seven-foot bear near Hansonville Road and Oak Street."
8:17 p.m. — There is gunplay near Peaslee Road.
11:27 p.m. — A party rages on Main Street, Gonic. No officers are available to handle the call. Rage on, McDuff.
Saturday, May 31
12:15 a.m. — At the end of Meaderboro Road, a gentleman in a blue hoodie is jumping up and down and running in and out of the roadway. This is thought to be suspicious.
3:18 a.m. — On Liberty Street, two men (one shirtless, of course) are yelling at each other.
12:22 p.m. — A man who was in a fight near the Dynasty heads for home on a bike, clutching a six-pack.
3:43 p.m. — A purse has been stolen from a car on River Street. The victim waits for a while in a car in the police parking lot before getting "irritated" and hanging up on two dispatchers.
4:07 p.m. — On Mill Street, a dead deer has been dragged into a back yard. Now there are buzzards and flies around it.
6:39 p.m. — In the East Rochester area, a teenager has eight pairs of underwear stolen.
8:23 p.m. — At the Dynasty, a woman reports her ex has taken $100 from her.
8:51 p.m. — The core of the noise from a graduation party on Quail Drive is traced to a young drummer whom police advise to stop.
Sunday, June 1
12:49 a.m. — Loud music is coming from Penny Lane, who is a street, not an entertainer.
8:51 a.m. — A dog visits Aroma Joe's on Milton Road daily for a bone, but they are concerned for its safety.
8:53 a.m. — A Moores Court man who allowed a girl to stay at his place overnight has awoken to find her and his white Chevy Cavalier have gone.
6:31 p.m. — A dog bite man to Frisbie goes, then speaks to the mutt's master, who says that trespass law he knows. Rapprochement? A disaster!
8:31 p.m. — Two ladies slug it out on River Street.
11:24 p.m. — A man steals a 30-pack from Cumberland Farms on Milton Road and escapes on foot, despite baggy jeans.
Monday, June 2
10:07 a.m. — At the station, a woman reports she has a check for $3,000 which is likely fraudulent.
10:54 a.m. — Near Citizen's Bank a biker is seen to dismount and punch a van driver before taking off again.
1:06 p.m. — The Baxter Lake golf cart has been stolen again, possibly by the same youngster.
7:49 p.m. — On Yellowstone Lane a woman reports that her son was clonked over the head with a bottle by a relative a couple of days ago.
7:57 p.m. — At the station a man reports a woman he used to live with is leaving messages on his lawn.