The Phony Campaign

2011-07-24 Update

[phony baloney]

President Obama surges back into the phony lead:

Query String Hit Count Change Since
2011-07-17
"Barack Obama" phony 6,640,000 +3,650,000
"Mitt Romney" phony 4,910,000 +2,450,000
"Michele Bachmann" phony 4,690,000 +540,000
"Sarah Palin" phony 4,290,000 +2,480,000
"Rick Perry" phony 2,100,000 +540,000
"Tim Pawlenty" phony 1,520,000 +290,000
"Jon Huntsman" phony 1,010,000 -90,000

… and may I say, that lead is richly deserved.

  • Don't look now, but Rick Perry has become the front runner at Intrade, with (as I type) a 31.1% chance at grabbing the GOP nomination, edging out Mitt Romney (30%).

  • Buddy Roemer, ex-Louisiana governor, officially entered the presidential race, announcing at the Other Side of the State University, Dartmouth. Intrade gives him a 0.1% chance at the nomination, the same as (honest!) Dick Cheney, Judd Gregg, Charlie Crist, and Fred Thompson.

    His hope lies in appealing to the voters whose main thought on the big issues of the day are: "it would be kind of neat to have a President Buddy." His campaign slogan is "Free to Lead", which means … what, exactly?

    THE SYSTEM IS INSTITUTIONALLY CORRUPT AND THERE IS ONLY ONE CANDIDATE WHO WILL NOT SELL OUT TO THE BIG MONEY AND WILL NOT BE THE POLITICAL SERVANT OF THE FEW PEOPLE OF PRIVILEGED WEALTH. THERE IS ONLY ONE CANDIDATE WHO WILL NOT ACCEPT DONATIONS FROM THE SPECIAL INTERESTS AND WILL, WHEN ELECTED, BE FREE TO LEAD, AND WILL LEAD THIS NATION OUT OF ITS ECONOMIC DEPRESSION.

    Caps in the original, but I bolded up the slogan.

    Seriously, Idea One of the "Roemer Solution" (available at the link) is to pretty much shut down international trade, and punish people who engage in it. Overall his platform contains a few good ideas, buried in a vile mashup of xenophobia, demagoguery, and economic illiteracy. I'm surprised he isn't doing better!

  • Jon Huntsman trails in our phony poll, but a recent article in the Weekly Standard by Andrew Ferguson reveals that it's not for lack of effort. Ferguson was there for the campaign's Liberty Island kickoff last month:

    The event had the feel of an unsubtle satire dreamed up by some snotty 1970s aging-hippie movie director--Robert Altman, say--to prove that political candidates are just pretty-boy airheads engaged in a show-biz sham. In addition to the lifted lamp of Lady Liberty and the overdone backdrop, there was the handsome candidate and his excellent hair, tossed Kennedily by a gentle wind off the river. There was the lovely wife wreathed in smiles, accompanied by a raft of offspring who looked as if Madame Tussaud's "Brady Bunch" exhibit had sprung wondrously to life.

    Large speakers played a boneless soundtrack of soft New Age rock, part Kenny G, part early 1980s porno. On a video screen across from the stage, solitary words shimmered in and out of focus against a western landscape: Vitality. Comfort. Home. Tough. Calm. (You're getting sleepy, sleepy . . . ) A recorded voice familiar from a dozen car commercials read the words as they appeared. Then another voice directed everyone's attention to a point 100 yards away, across the endless lawn. The cameras turned. And there they were: a line of grinning Huntsmans, lined up and holding hands. At a cue from an inconspicuous advance man, the family began walking, slowly, slowly, hand in hand across the lawn. All that stood between them and the massed rank of cameras was a towering monument in the center of the field, dedicated to the veterans who had liberated the death camps in World War Two.

    "Kennedily". Heh.

  • In Iowa this week, Tim Pawlenty tried to separate himself from the phony pack:

    "Everybody's got advice, but you've got to be yourself," Pawlenty said. "If you try to 'phony it up,' that just comes across as being a phony.

    So true.

  • So Pun Salad is shocked, shocked by this: "Pawlenty Creates Phony Faith Website To Encourage Iowans To Volunteer For His Campaign"

    … Pawlenty is increasingly talking about Jesus Christ as he tries to edge out his competitors, particularly Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN). As Pawlenty explains his faith, he directs audience members to visit a website called "PawlentyFaith.com"

    […] However, the website PawlentyFaith.com doesn't exist. When a user attempts to visit the website, it redirects to a Pawlenty campaign website called "action.iowastrawpoll2011.com."

    Geeky technical note: it's not correct to say the website "doesn't exist"; it resolves and responds to HTTP GET requests (with a "301 Moved Permanently"). And there's a video at the straw poll site in which TPaw and his lovely wife Mary proclaim their faith; it's not simply dragooning innocent Iowa Christian webfarers into giving up their time and money. "But other than that, the story is accurate."

    On the other hand, the blatant pandering… my suggestion for Tim and Mary's next Bible study is Matthew 6:5, the one that talks about the hypocrites who "love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men." Jesus is not a fan.


Last Modified 2014-12-01 2:28 PM EST