Pun Salad

John Shea sounds the death knell in my lousy local newspaper, Foster's Daily Democrat: Open enrollment threatens to destroy public education in NH. His opening salvo:

I've bolded a couple sentences above. Shea loves to gripe about the state government's stinginess. He fails to mention that, overall, New Hampshire spends quite a bit on K-12 education. World Population Review has comparison data ("Per Pupil Spending by State 2026"): it shows NH as the seventh-highest in yearly spending per student ($21,898; behind only New York, Vermont, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Alaska).

Also, worse: Shea is bullshitting about NH being "dead last among the 50 states" in terms of state government K-12 funding. A supplementary table shows the state kicking in $6,344 per student annually. Dead last? No; it's more than Georgia, Colorado, Montana, Idaho, Ohio, Mississippi, Tennessee, Missouri, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Nebraska, Arizona, South Dakota, Florida, and Texas.

(I almost wrote "Shea is lying" there, but "bullshitting" is the more accurate term. As Harry Frankfurt pointed out, bullshitters don't care whether they're telling the truth or not.)

John Shea is currently superintendent of schools of the Somersworth School District, just up the road from Pun Salad Manor. He first came to my attention in 2018, appearing in Foster's demanding a boycott of the Kittery (Maine) Trading Post, for daring to sell "semi-automatic assault rifles".

At the time, I suggested that Shea literally mind his own business: then, as now, running the Somersworth schools. Back then, their student scores on statewide tests were awful.

Guess what, they're still bad:

I will play the cynic: Shea has warned against the imminent demise of government schooling, and the awful people plotting it, in the past (Pun Salad comments are here, here, and here.) EFAs and Open Enrollment might make it economically feasible for Somersworth parents to escape his subpar school for better options.

For a sane look at Open Enrollment, see the Josiah Bartlett Center: Know the basics. Their summary:

Shea is frightened to death of competition. Maybe Somersworth should get a superintendent who isn't.

Also of note:

• Actually, it is rocket science. Ars Technica relates the sad story: Unable to tame hydrogen leaks, NASA delays launch of Artemis II until March.

  The launch of NASA’s Artemis II mission, the first flight of astronauts to the Moon in more than 53 years, will have to wait another month after a fueling test Monday uncovered hydrogen leaks in the connection between the rocket and its launch platform at Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

  “Engineers pushed through several challenges during the two-day test and met many of the planned objectives,” NASA said in a statement following the conclusion of the mock countdown, or wet dress rehearsal (WDR), early Tuesday morning. “To allow teams to review data and conduct a second Wet Dress Rehearsal, NASA now will target March as the earliest possible launch opportunity for the flight test.”

  Whenever it goes, I'll be watching. And praying. Well, probably not literally praying, but you know what I mean.

• Lock him up. Kevin D. Williamson makes The Simple Case for Arresting Don Lemon. (Followed by "the less simple case against".) (archive.today link)

  The simple case for arresting and prosecuting Don Lemon for his role in the invasion of a St. Paul Church by a group of anti-ICE protesters is, well, simple: It seems that he probably broke the law, including a federal statute that forbids “nonviolent physical obstruction” of worship services.

  Lemon insists that he was not there to participate in the protest action but to cover it as a journalist. In fairness, he did not claim to be there as a good journalist—a claim to which I would take some exception—but, in any case, that does not matter very much: Lemon entered the church, disrupting its business, and stayed after he was specifically asked to leave by the people in charge. We do not license journalists in the United States—thank goodness—and acting as a journalist does not give anyone any special license to break otherwise applicable laws. The First Amendment gives Americans the right to publish and speak, but it does not protect those engaged in publishing and speaking from being prosecuted for criminal acts, including criminal acts that frequently come up in the course of doing a reporter’s work, such as trespassing, receiving classified documents, or making audio or video recordings in way that might violate local laws requiring the consent of those being recorded. Journalists, like those engaged in civil disobedience, at times willfully break the law in the course of doing something they think important, and, like those engaged in civil disobedience, they must be prepared to bear the legal consequences for illegal actions.

  Read on for that other case. And also for:

  It is a little weird to think about what a man on the edge of 80 might be when he grows up, but if Trump ever grows up, a fascist is what he will grow up to be. That said, I agree it is unfair to call him a fascist today for the same reason it would be unfair to ask my dachshund to write a commentary on Aristotle.

• I may go through 2026 without watching any movies. But Jeff Maurer braved the crowds and brings us his Review of "Melania"

  The inauguration coat is a major plot in Melania. You see, Melania was thinking of wearing one coat, but then she decided to wear another coat. A big bravura scene — the Melania equivalent of the Omaha Beach scene in Saving Private Ryan — happens when it looks like they might not be able to tailor the coat the way she wanted! But then…yes they can. Crisis averted! Before seeing the movie, if you had asked me how Melania picked out her inauguration coat, I would have said “I’ll bet someone showed her a bunch of different coats, and she looked at them, and then chose one.” I honestly did not need a feature film to confirm: Yes, that was it.

  The funniest part of the movie is when Melania claims that the movie is the story that “everyone wants to know”, and then there’s a near-smash-cut to her picking out a bureau for Barron’s room. Devil’s advocate: Did everyone want to know how Barron’s bureau was picked out? Surely someone exists who is fascinated by Barron’s bureau — like all of us — but who is ho-hum about the selection process. I can’t even imagine what footage was edited out of Melania — maybe footage of Melania watching an ice cube melt in a glass of water, or her sitting motionless staring at an ant farm for 90 minutes. Melania is so dull that it makes your average episode of Caillou seem like The Bourne Identity.

  60 percent of the movie is Melania being transported places. Did you ever wonder how she gets from the airport to Trump Tower? The answer is: a car. What about from one room in Mar-a-Lago to a different room? It’s hallways, sometimes including stairs. The movie seems to assume that the audience is suffering from Transient Global Amnesia, so if they see Melania in one room, and later she’s in a different room, they’ll freak out and yell “HOW DID SHE GET FROM THAT PLACE TO THIS PLACE?!?!?!?” To prove that Melania is not a teleporting shapeshifter, the movie treats us to excruciatingly long shots of Melania in cars, sometimes accompanied by “Gimme Shelter” or “Billie Jean” to try to provide energy where there is obviously none.

  But, surprisingly, Matthew Hennessey says: ‘Melania’ in the Money. (WSJ gifted link)

  “Melania” did boffo business at the box office this weekend. Why do I get a victory lap? Because one of the first Free Expression newsletters predicted this. It was headlined “Republicans Watch Documentaries, Too.”

  The film about the first lady opened on 1,778 screens and pulled in more than $7 million. That’s a lot for a documentary, most of which don’t play in theaters at all. The ones that do are lucky to make $70.

  But haters always hate. Much of the reporting on the film’s haul has noted that it’s still a long way from profitability. Amazon paid $40 million for “Melania” and reportedly invested another $35 million in marketing.

  Apparently some attendees did not attend just so they could make fun of the movie for their substack audience.

• Also overused: "perfect". James Lileks muses on the different approaches taken by the customer service people you wind up talking to on the phone: Awesome? That's a Negative.

  3. The Over-Effusive Youth. The levels of enthusiastic obsequiousness I get from younger customer-service reps is jarring. Can I get your phone number? Awwwesome. Zip? Awwwwesome. Sometimes it’s quick - awsm! - and sometimes it’s drawn out with reverence like they’re invoking some old Norse God named Ossum. We’ve been told that Generation Z (or maybe Alpha, I am too Boomery to care about these distinctions) has a social aversion to the phone, because it’s rude and intrusive. You mean I have to talk to someone, just because they want to? You mean I have to just call someone up and make them talk to me? Obviously not all of them feel like this, but the ones that are capable of talking on the phone really lean into it, like they’re doing something retro or vintage and they think that’s how it used to be done.

  I liked that mini-reflection in the middle: I am too Boomery to care about these distinctions. Me too, James, me too.