I thought the first Pirates movie was great: a story well-told, with humor and actual good acting and amazing special effects.
This one's a big bloated mess. The plot, such as it is, seems to have been stitched together as something to set up the special effects.
OK, the special effects are impressive. But the movie's nearly three hours long, and after a while it's like eating your fifteenth chocolate sundae.
Keith Richards appears, heavily made up, as Captain Teague, Jack Sparrow's dad. The purpose of this? As near as I can tell, none.
But—here's the thing—if you've seen the first two, you might as well watch to see what happens to everyone in this one. Just don't try to make much sense out of it, don't go overboard in trying to keep track of what everyone's goal is, who's just doublecrossed whom, or even which ship is which. All of that was beyond my abilities, and I was even able to follow the plot in Bender's Big Score. (About which I'll blog later.)