I was attracted by the weird headline of a recent article from the Media Relations Department of the University of New Hampshire:
UNH Plans Economically and Environmentally Sustainable Installation of President Huddleston Sept. 16
Yes, UNH is talking about the inauguration of its president as if he were a new biodiesel-powered backup generator for the data center. "Just slide him in right here! On those cinder blocks!"
If you were a normal person, you might wonder briefly about the concept of a "sustainable installation"; is that an installation you don't have to redo a few months later, because you skipped a couple of key steps in the installation manual?
No. Or at least, I don't think so. This is an economically and environmentally sustainable installation. Which means, I think (roughly speaking): we could keep doing this forever, and it wouldn't overdraw us at the bank or kill any polar bears.
Hm… Maybe the article will better illuminate things:
A "unique approach to his installation" would be if he rappelled in from the skylights in the Granite State Room of the Memorial Union Building. That would be not only unique, but also kind of neat.
But I'll bet he'll approach via the doors, just like presidents One through Eighteen.
Ack. You don't make efforts around—you make efforts toward. And "resourcefulness" isn't a goal in itself; instead, it describes your ability to meet goals.
They mean something else; they can't be bothered to figure out how to say it.
I would have loved to see those—what would you call
them—disinvitations? "The honor of your
absence is requested …"
The ceremony will be rolled, but said rolling will not be assisted by internal combustion engines. Hopefully rolling the ceremony head-on into a large celebration won't cause any injuries.
The two words "save money" are refreshing by their unusual straightforwardness in a sea of marketing/environmental bafflegab. Naturally, however, no actual effort is made to quantify how much money will be saved. Or, for that matter, how big the "carbon footprint" would have been, or how much shrinkage they expect to cause. It's all about our perceived good intentions, and let's not sully that with any actual numbers.
Sheesh. "Pressures" don't typically "face" you. Just say "on".
The "toward" that should have used in the previous paragraph is used here, nonsensically.
And, although the article previously mentioned "resourcefulness" favorably, that better not actually involve, you know, resources. We're avoiding those. Especially "excess" ones. Or "direct" ones. Indirect resources are still OK, though.
Translation: parking will be an even bigger bitch than usual. Don't even bother to try.
Well, let's go to the Inauguration Website. The eye-catching Official Logo:
Oh, dear Lord. It just screams: "Here at UNH, we strive to use only the tiredest and lamest marketing gimmicks."
The "2.0" thing is meaningless, and hence grating. If Dr. Huddleston is the 19th UNH president, wouldn't it make more sense to call it "Inauguration 19.0"? And do you ever want to buy the point-0 version of anything?
But seriously: you can watch the ceremony streaming on the web. Pun Son will be performing, so I'll be webbed in.
Also seriously: despite his administration's tolerance for embarrassing marketing, President Huddleston seems to be a pretty good guy. I wish him luck.