I'll try to slip this one in before Thanksgiving, because it's
definitely not something to be Thankful for: John Stossel's
"We Pay Them to Lie to Us".
When you knowingly pay someone to lie to you, we call the deceiver an illusionist or a magician. When you unwittingly pay someone to do the same thing, I call him a politician.Read the whole sad thing.
One of Mrs. Salad's seasonal duties is teaching carols to little kids at
church so they can perform them at Christmas Mass. Every year (she says), some
child asks whether they can sing songs they do in school, like "Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer". (Needless to say, unless they're at Catholic
school, "Silent Night" and "Joy to the World" are not sung.)
No, Mrs. Salad replies, we're going to stick with the Baby Jesus songs. Good for her.
But it got me thinking: surely out there in Holy Roller Land, someone's come up with religious replacement lyrics to Gene Autry's classic?
Why yes they have. Behold the lyrics to "Jesus the Blond-Haired Savior":
Then one dreadful PassoverThis was a number of years ago, and it doesn't seem to have caught on. Mainly because (a) it's dreadful; (b) really, doesn't that sound more like an Easter thing. I bet I could do better:
The Romans came to say
Jesus you'd best come with us
Up on the cross, don't make a fuss.
Then all the Wise Men praised him
Showered him with gold and myrrh
Oh, little Baby Jesus
You're the savior we prefer!
I think that's much more faithful to the original, and the season.
But (on the flip side) even Rudolph's original lyrics will offend
some diligent secular crusaders:
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" caused a stir at a New Hanover County school. A parent complained about the song's religious reference and got it pulled from her child's kindergarten Christmas show at Murrayville Elementary School.Don't panic: the decision was quickly rescinded once (I would imagine) every other parent in Murrayville called the superintendent and said Are you kidding me???
The song was pulled "because it had the word Christmas in it," said Rick Holliday, assistant school superintendent.
Iowahawk dons his National Geographic TV nature special hat for
a look at The
Secret Life of Climate Researchers. How will Dave penetrate
their inner sanctum?
In this exclusive footage, Burge warily approaches the hive's security drone, disguising himself as smelly graduate student. Burge has theorized that as a member of the lowest stratum in the hive's social system, the drone likely enjoys partying. He reaches into his backpack and offers the drone a pint of Guinness and a small bag of weed in exchange for the hive's internal security tapes and email files. Success.
Mary Katherine Ham discusses
the thorny topic of sexually-connotated criticism of female politicians.
Or something. Probably NSFW, depending on where you W.