Pun Salad

Use your arms and legs, it won't ruin you:

• The "No Labels" group:
  1. Demands "transparency and full disclosure from individuals and organizations that pay for political ads."

  2. Refuses to say who's providing its own funding.

  Is that irony? I can never tell.

• The University Near Here announces that the "Office of Diversity Initiatives" will henceforth be named "The Office of Faculty Development and Inclusive Excellence Initiatives." As near as I can tell from the accompanying PDF explanation, the Office will continue to be a veritable goldmine of academic gasbaggery and carefree punctuation:

  Campus leaders have been promoting minorities, low-income families; first-generation college students; persons with disabilities, nontraditional students, as well as other diverse citizens of the state and beyond.

  No word (yet) on whether there will be awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. There's a song they could probably get away with using.

• Key point from this Harvard Crimson story:

  Faculty of Arts and Sciences spokesman Jeff Neal wrote in an e-mail that it remains unclear why a bottle of urine was stowed in the library, …

  "Forget it, Jake. It's Harvard."