The Phony Campaign

2012-08-12 Update

[phony baloney]

Hey, kids! Your assignment this week is to sing the lyrics of Jimmy Dean's hit "Big Bad John" to the tune of "Dead Man's Curve" by Jan & Dean. It's (surprisingly) easy and fun! You'll need to be creative with the chorus.

Oh, wait. Wrong blog.

Query String Hit Count Change Since
"Barack Obama" phony 23,900,000 +600,000
"Mitt Romney" phony 1,300,000 +130,000
"Gary Johnson" phony 521,000 +23,000

  • Answer to a question nobody has asked: Googling ["Jill Stein" phony] provides 318,000 hits.

  • Answer to the followup question you may have asked: Jill Stein is the Green Party nominee for President of the United States. She's trailing the Libertarian Party's Gary Johnson in the phony poll, but trying to make up lost ground, as in this interview with NPR.

    So that is what the party is about. It is about real democracy that meets the crises that the American people are facing. Our priority is to provide jobs, to have an economy that works for everyday people, not this phony economy of high finance where 40 percent of corporate profits are now coming from the financial services industry that's mainly, you know, rearranging the deck chairs.

    Not that it matters, Jill, but: you know a cliché is stale when you start invoking it, but get too bored to finish it.

  • And once you go to Jill, why stop: Googling ["Roseanne Barr" phony] provides 576,000 hits! That would put her ahead of Gary Johnson!

  • Oh, right: Roseanne grabbed the presidential nomination of the "Peace and Freedom Party" this weekend. After having lost the Green Party nod to Jill Stein. She weighed in on the Chick-fil-A controversy, displaying the fundamental decency and tolerance of today's progressives:

    Barr, who vocally opposes the stand against same-sex marriage taken by Chick-fil-A's president, Dan Cathy, initially tweeted, "anyone who eats S*** Fil-A deserves to get the cancer that is sure to come from eating antibiotic filled tortured chickens 4Christ."

    Later, Barr tweeting again "off to grab a s*** fil-A sandwich on my way to worshipping Christ, supporting Aipac and war in Iran."

    Barr later apologized. For using the word "deserves".

  • Rosanne's running mate is Cindy Sheehan, a media darling in 2005 for her anti-Dubya delusional rantings, now somewhat less famous for more of the same. On the news of the demise of Osama:

    I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you're stupid. Just think to yourself--they paraded Saddam's dead sons around to prove they were dead--why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent--just put your flags away and THINK!

    I don't plan on watching the debates, but I'd watch Cindy Sheehan vs. Joe Biden on Univision's long-running series ¿Quién es más loco?

Last Modified 2014-12-01 2:53 PM EDT