The Big Wedding

[1.0 stars] [IMDb Link] [Amazon Link]

A request by Mrs. Salad, who failed to note the poor IMDB score and the lousy reviews. (A stunning 7% on the Tomatometer.)

The previous movie we watched (Trouble With The Curve) was an example of how good actors can save a mediocre script.

Even Robert De Niro can't save this one. But, to be fair, he doesn't try very hard.

So the plot is: Don (De Niro) and Ellie (Diane Keaton) are long-divorced, and Don has a long term, but non-marital, relationship with Bebe (Susan Sarandon). Don and Ellie's adopted son Alejandro (Ben Barnes) is getting married to Missy (Amanda Seyfried). This causes Alejandro's siblings Jared (Topher Grace) and Lyla (Katherine Heigl) to also appear. (To add to the amusement: Jared is a thirty-year-old virgin by choice; Lyla's relationship with her husband is strained because of her difficulty getting pregnant.)

Let's see, what else? Oh yes: Alejandro's bio-mom (Madonna) is coming up for the ceremony, accompanied by daughter Nuria. It's assumed bio-mom is a big traditional Catholic, so Don and Ellie must pretend to still be married. Nuria is kind of a slut, who immediately starts hitting remorselessly on virginal Jared.

And Robin Williams plays the officiating priest. Christine Ebersole and David Rasche are the bride's bigoted parents. (Filmmakers: "Maybe people will laugh if we put enough actors in the movie who were funny in the 1980s.")

It's about an hour and a half of stupid sex jokes, dialog that no human being would ever say spontaneously, and heavily contrived situations. I think I laughed once. (Robin Williams: "Hell it is, then.")

IMDB helpfully points out that De Niro and Diane Keaton have appeared in the same movie only once before: The Godfather: Part II. This movie would have been helped immensely by sudden murderous violence.