Aug
22
2017

Updating Niemöller

(A Pun Salad Rerun)

[Hey, that was some eclipse, right? What do you think about that Big Booming Voice threatening America with imminent destruction, unless… Oh, that didn't happen where you were? … What, that was just me hearing it? Never mind.

Anyway, we are still in Pun Salad rerun season. I originally wrote this masterpiece before Trump's inauguration. I've added a few stanzas since.]

In honor of the upcoming Trump Administration, some overly dramatic friends have been posting the famous poem by anti-Nazi German Pastor Martin Niemöller:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Because Trump is Hitler, you see.

But it got me thinking about what a more honest, updated version would look like. And so:

First the FEC came for Citizens United , and I did not speak out—
Because I did not want to defend an anti-Hillary movie.

Then the IRS came for Tea Party groups, and I did not speak out—
Because those teabaggers irritated me.

Then the authorities came for Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, and I did not speak out—
Because he was a convenient scapegoat for Benghazi.

Then the DOJ came for a Fox News correspondent, and I did not speak out—
Because, hey, Fox News.

Then the social network mob came after Brendan Eich, and I did not speak out—
Because I did not agree with him.

Then the HHS came for the Little Sisters of the Poor, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a nun.

Then the State of Washington came for a florist, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a florist.

Then Berkeley thugs came for Ann Coulter, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not Ann Coulter.

Then Google came for James Damore, and I did not speak out—
Because … well, who wants to get on Google's bad side?

Then Donald Trump got elected, and I'm now really concerned about arbitrary abuses of power—
And all these people are just laughing at me!

Obviously, I could have added more verses. Disclaimer: despite the "then"s, I didn't bother to put things in chronological order.