Pun Salad

It's Vitriol Day here at Pun Salad! I'm actually feeling very copacetic and happy with the world in general, but maybe that's only in comparison with these fine folks:

• Howard Dean recently fired the Democratic National Committee's gay outreach advisor, after said advisor's domestic partner criticized the Democrats "for not taking stronger action to defend gays." A number of folks have criticized Dean, claiming that he wouldn't have fired a heterosexual critic's spouse. Fortunately, the fair-minded Soxblog leaps to Dean's defense:

  Dean is a mean-spirited cretin, and he extends his mean-spirited cretinous nature to all comers, be they gay, straight, bi-sexual, or virginal. I have every confidence that if given the opportunity, Dean would be every bit as vindictive and petty towards a straight couple.

  So there.

• And Jonah Goldberg is always pretty good, but he's massively PO'd today at … well, let him tell it:

  It is the congressional GOP that should be booed and shamed from the public square for the harlot it has become. Before the pyre of pandering even ended, the Republicans launched their fire sale, offering to sell off their remaindered principles at bargain basement prices. It was almost like they were paying voters to take their intellectual integrity off their hands. ("We're practically giving it away!")

• And finally, Carl Schaad is put out at some unwelcome house guests, specifically ten billion clover mites:

  They come out in the Spring, usually invading by way of a door or window they've jimmied open. Their sole purpose is to crawl around on your walls and entice you to smash them, at which point they have the audacity to burst into a tiny red mark that stains the molecules of whatever they're on, making it impossible to clean apart from using some sort of nuclear weapon. (I've tried SOS® Pads but they just take off the paint.)