Pun Salad

So, I love Netflix. But people are beginning to speculate that Netflix doesn't love me. Not one little bit. This makes me sad.

Or maybe they do love me, they're just not in love with me. Maybe they just want to be friends. And not friends with benefits.

Awhile back, I got a note that said they were upping the monthly fee for the combination video-streaming/DVDs-by-mail service. (Everyone did. It made the news.)

My decision was easy: dump the streaming, keep the DVD service. No hard feelings. I never got around to buying Yet Another Box to allow me to watch streamed content on my TV, and the selection Netflix offered was merely OK, not great. So I actually wound up saving $4 per month.

But today (like a lot of people), I got mail from Netflix CEO Reed Hastings, a combination apology/announcement. First line: "I messed up. I owe everyone an explanation." (You can read the rest here.) The apology was for folks who were a lot more upset about the change than I was. The announcement was that the DVD-by-mail service would now be called "Quikster". Wha…?

But so what?

Instant analyses came thick and fast. Megan McArdle points out that I should probably be worried:

It's not that Netflix doesn't have a problem. They have a huge problem. The company never wanted to be in the mail-order DVD service long-term; it's not a good business. Redbox was threatening to carve off the casual users, leaving them with the high-traffic movie buffs who don't make them money; meanwhile, the warehouses necessary to maintain the business at high traffic levels are costly to build and operate. Plus any idiot can see that the future is likely to be in painlessly streaming movies over the internet, not putting physical discs in little envelopes and mailing them. The fact that the Postal Service is near bankruptcy tells you a lot about the viability of business models based on mailing things.

Megan made me look in the mirror. (Uh, metaphorically. Although I'm a Netflix-lover, I'm also one of those "high-traffic movie buffs who don't make them money." So we may be in a dysfunctional relationship. (If it were a movie, it would be… gosh, maybe Fatal Attraction with me in the Glenn Close role. (Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Netflix!)

And Megan was being relatively diplomatic. Dan Frommer (via this Wired article) implies I should probably be watching out for Netflix goons looking to break my kneecaps:

Why is this happening? Because the future of Netflix is streaming videos. Period. Not mailing them to your house via the U.S. Postal Service, but delivering them to your TV and devices over the Internet.

But to get there, Netflix first has to convince Hollywood to stream its best movies, and it needs to train consumers to stream movies as a default behavior. That means making sure that the streaming business can stand on its own. And that means separating DVDs from the equation, and doing as much as possible to get everyone to stop using them, short of blatant sabotage. (What, you think the bad name, "Qwikster," is an accident?)

Oh, well. As I type, I have three DVDs at home, 143 in my main queue, and 21 in the "Saved" queue, waiting for availability. And I'm willing to send them $15.99 per month in perpetuity. They can't make money off me? We can't make this commercial relationship work? That's kind of sad.