Today You Die

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[2.0 stars] [IMDb Link]

Movie weekend begins with Steven Seagal's latest direct-to-DVD movie. He plays a Robin Hood-style crook trying to go straight. Unfortunately, by sheerest coincidence, his first straight job turns out to be a heist of twenty million dollars in an armored car. Steven winds up in jail, and the money winds up missing.

The plot mainly exists to support a steady flow of bad guys for Steven to shoot, stab, slash, and blow up. (Some lessers may have been merely maimed, but it's hard to say for sure.) I kind of lost track of who they all were.

There is also some supernatural bushwa involved with Steven's main squeeze having some sort of Tarot-like visions. This doesn't turn out to be relevant to anything else in the plot, as near as I can tell.

Last Modified 2024-02-04 4:49 AM EDT