Pun Salad

So with the year nearly 25% over, I finally got around to watching my first actual movie of 2025. The critics seemed to hate it (a 15% mark from Rotten Tomatoes), and it's not great, but I thought it was OK. It didn't hurt that I have kind of a thing for Millie Bobby Brown. Why if I were 50 years younger… I'd still be older than Millie, and she would still be way out of my league.

It's set in an alternate-history world where robotics and AI were fully developed in the 1990s. The robots rebelled against being giving crappy jobs (and, often, ludicrous appearances) by humans; it turned violent, but humans prevailed thanks to the technical wizardry of Elon Musk Ethan Skate (the great Stanley Tucci).

In the midst of all this: Michelle (Ms. Brown) is devoted to her young genius brother Christopher (Woody Norman). But, alas, their happy family is ripped apart in a car crash, with Michelle seemingly the only survivor. Years later, she ends up with an abusive stepfather (Jason Alexander) and a bad attitude. But one night a robot shows up on her doorstep, claiming to be the avatar of her thought-dead brother. So…

This movie has a lot of cliché elements: plucky young heroine, taking up with a scruffy, wise-cracking, minor league criminal. Taking on the huge, evil empire corporation that's running everything. Pursued by a robot-phobic mercenary Boba Fett Colonel Bradbury (Giancarlo Esposito),

But I thought the special effects were impressive, the action sequences were, um, action-filled, and there's some actually-funny stuff too. I can't exactly recommend it, but if you aren't a college basketball fan, there are worse ways to spend a weekend evening in March.

While meandering around Roku screens, I noticed this movie from my youth. Famous at the time (at least in my circles) for its irreverent Brit humor from Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. And I kind of liked looking at Eleanor Bron, who I loved from the Beatles movie Help!.

Consumer notes: It's available on the "Plex" streaming service, with ads. Lots and lots of robo-placed ads. And (worse) a significant fraction of them were Kamala ads. No movie subtitles, which is a shame due to the limey accents, occasional mumbling and fast-talking. Ah, well.

Mr. Moore plays Stanley, a schlub short order cook, infatuated with waitress Margaret (Ms. Bron). Thinking it hopeless, he flubs a suicide attempt, which causes a visit from Satan (Mr. Cook). And what follows is your standard Mephistophelean deal: the Devil gets Stanley's soul, Stanley gets Margaret.

Ah, but Beelzebub is a trickster, and Stanley (due to his love-addled stupidity) finds himself in all sorts of unacceptable (but hilarious) relationships with Margaret. And Old Nick has his own motives: getting Stanley's soul will allow him to get back together with God in Heaven, a status he misses.

And Raquel Welch has a small role as one of the Deadly Sins. Guess which one?

I have fond memories of loving this movie back in the 1970s, Peter Bogdonovich's resurrection of the screwball comedy genre. Now, fifty years later, I still laughed, maybe not quite as heartily as before, but still…

Here's the story: Iowa musicologist Howard Bannister (Ryan O'Neal) comes to San Francisco to learn whether he's been awarded a prestigious research grant from the Larrabee Foundation. (He is investigating whether cavemen were able to make crude music by beating on igneous rocks.) He has his domineering fiancée Eunice (Madeline Kahn) along with him. On the scene comes Judy Maxwell (Barbra Streisand), and she unaccountably falls into love with Howard (literal love at first sight). She successfully inveigles her way into his life, but not without causing much hilarious misunderstanding and impressive amounts of property damage.

A subplot involves four lookalike bags, one containing Howard's research rocks. The others containing top secret documents purloined by a wannabe whistleblower; a fortune in jewelry; and Judy's clothing. And of course they get mixed up. Adding to the hilarity and destruction.

Morbid me, couldn't help but notice that most of the stars here are no longer with us. Still (apparently) alive, however: Barbra, Michael Murphy, Randy Quaid.

I get the feeling the movie is poorly paced near the end, but I still had a good time.

I was in a film-noirish mood, I guess, so I went searching for one I hadn't seen. This 1954 one fit the bill. Couldn't help but notice that it was made a full 10 years after Fred MacMurray came to his bitter end in Double Indemnity. It has Kim Novak as the dame that lures him to his doom, not Barbara Stanwyck.

It leads off with a bank heist, the perps getting away with a cool $200K. (This inflation calculator says that's well over $2.2 million today.) And one of the thieves, Wheeler, also kills a bank guard, who's foolish enough to play hero.

Then there's a quick transition to Fred (playing cop Paul Sheridan) unaccountably picking up Kim (playing floozy Lona McLane). Wait, what does that have to do with anything? It turns out Sheridan is part of the team investigating the bank job; they've determined that Wheeler is Lona's boyfriend. So (apparently this was accepted cop practice in the 1950s) Sheridan was tasked with going undercover and, uh, getting under the covers, with Lona.

(It's the 1950s, so that's not made explicit, but come on.)

So Lona and Paul (a) fall in love and (b) hatch a scheme to entrap Wheeler, and abscond with the bank cash. Things keep going wrong for them, complicating their already complex plans. Paul's cop co-workers get increasingly suspicious. And, inevitably,…

This was Kim Novak's first major movie role. Based on the title, I kept thinking/hoping that she would reveal her truly nefarious scheme to make Paul the patsy, and abscond with the money all for herself, because she (correctly) saw him as an easy … Pushover.

Spoiler: that does not happen.

Old fogy that I am, I couldn't help but think during this movie's lesbian love scenes: Y'know, I don't think they do this for the heterosexuals any more. It's like there's a different set of rules for the ladies-only crowd.

It's co-written and directed by Ethan Coen, half of the Coen brothers. I was inspired to watch it not only because of his famous name, but also his brother's R-rated review, guest-posted at Jeff Maurer's substack.

I liked it OK. Nobody's going to confuse it with Fargo or The Big Lebowski, but it's very deadpan funny. (And also very violent in parts.) It takes some cheap shots at family-values Florida Republicans, but what are you gonna do?

It's a road-trip story. Very-out lesbian Jamie is coming off a breakup with her cop girlfriend; very closeted Marian is tired of fending off guys at her workplace. So they take a "drive-away" job, driving a Dodge Aries down to Tallahassee, Florida. Little do they know that they've been hired by mistake, and they're transporting a briefcase with mysterious contents. And also Pedro Pascal's head, for some reason. And murderous bad guys are on their trail.

A subplot involves Jamie's efforts to get Marian to, um, loosen up. And those efforts are somewhat successful. But Marian also gets Jamie to settle down.

ANother entry in the Action/Comedy/Romance/Dumb Fun genres. Big budget for stars Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt, but also a lot for (obviously) the spectacular stunts. And I hope Mr. Gosling's eight stunt doubles were also well-paid. This movie will have you sympathizing with their faceless daring.

Gosling plays Colt Seaver, a one-time great stuntman who suffered a grievous injury acting as a double for spoiled famous action star Tom Ryder. Disillusioned, he now works as a valet. But he gets a call from producer Gail (Hannah Waddington) who demands his presence in Sydney, claiming that his old girlfriend Jody (Ms. Blunt) really needs his services on the latest Tom Ryder flick Metalstorm (Described as "Mad Max meets Star Wars".)

Colt is thrust into a convoluted, inexplicable plot. It turns out that Jody had no idea he was coming. Ryder seems to be missing. A body is found, which promptly disappears. Colt's no Sherlock Holmes, and it's pretty clear he's in over his head.

Fortunately, a combination of friends and foes spell it out for him.

I never watched the old TV show on which this movie is based. But there's a nice treat in the midst of the trailers for those geezers in the audience who did.

I might not have watched this movie on Netflix if not for the review from Armond White in National Review. He hates everything! And is this damning with faint praise?: "It’s a crock, but it’s the closest a Millennial film has come to recognizing the existence of the working class."

I liked it OK. And if you're wondering what Mark Wahlberg, Halle Barry, and J. K. Simmons are up to these days… it's well, this. (Also: Dana Delaney, Jackie Earle Haley, Lorraine Bracco.)

Mark Wahlberg plays Mike, a construction worker who's schtupping his old high school English teacher (Ms. Delaney). Out of nowhere comes Roxanne (Ms. Berry), Mike's old high school flame. Who promptly tranquilizes him and swoops him off to London. (You don't expect that sort of behavior from a girl you haven't seen in decades.)

It turns out that Roxanne works for "The Union", a spy organization even more secretive than the CIA. And she's fresh off a disastrous mission where a bunch of her fellow spies were killed, so she's looking for (literal, I guess) new blood. What follows is pretty standard fare, but I stayed awake and interested, which is a good sign.

And there's an obvious setup for at least one sequel. I'm in.

John Woo directing a remake of The Killer ? Free-to-me on Peacock? I'm there! But…

It's set in Paris, and the titular killer is "Zee", played by Nathalie Emmanuel, who does not resemble Chow Yun Fat in the slightest. She is a assassin, working for a French gang leader. Her initial mission is to infiltrate an exclusive dance club, and pretty much kill everyone. But she spares a beautiful singer, who's just blinded in the resulting carnage.

We also meet her ostensible opponent, Sey (played by Omar Sy). He's a cop who doesn't play by the rules, whose gunplay saves lives, but is disapproved by his superiors at headquarters…

Well, you've probably already guessed one trope involved: Contract on the Hitman. There are a number of others, which I won't spoil, or bother to look up.

It is pretty standard R-rated action movie stuff, with some John Woo trademark items. But people looking for some good old over-the-top creatively choreographed ultraviolence as Woo exhibited in his earlier movies will probably be disappointed. (YouTube clips from the old movies are available; there's no comparison.)

Don't want to make a big deal about this, but I was in the mood for some semi-violent mindless fun, and this popped up on Amazon Prime. And I've always enjoyed Awkwafina's movies. So…

Set in the near future, California has taken a desperate step to deal with the fiscal crisis they so richly deserve. Their "Grand Lottery" has a twist: if you murder the lottery winner, you get the jackpot. Guns are disallowed, but otherwise thumbs up. Bolt guns to the forehead seem to be the method of choice, but edged weaponry is also populaar.

Awkwafina plays Katie, who accidentally wins. And near-immediately, and cluelessly, finds herself in deep doo-doo. Literally hundreds of people are looking to do her in. Onto the scene pops Noel (John Cena), who offers her protection. But can she trust him?

Also showing up (eventually) is Simu Liu, who was great in Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Uh, playing Shang-Chi. (It appears he also played a Ken in Barbie, which I have yet to see.) (And, oh, it appears that John Cena also played a Ken in Barbie.) (And Awkwafina was also in Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings.)

MPAA: "Rated R for pervasive language, violence, and sexual references". Also some smoking.

They don't make 'em like this anymore. (Well, La La Land, which I liked a lot, but that was, sheesh, eight years ago.)

When I was in Iowa last week, my sister took me to see a small-stage production of The Music Man at the Okoboji Summer Theatre. It was a lot of fun, and I hadn't seen the movie in decades, but I remembered quite a few of my favorite bits: the mayor's daughter saying "Ye Gods!", the mayor's wife saying "Balzac"; Harold Hill's wonderful patter; and early on, the song sung by the townspeople (which turns out to have a name: "Iowa Stubborn"), with my favorite lyric:

Never fails to bring a smile to my face.

And there's something special about seeing The Music Man in Iowa, a mere 117 miles away from Mason City, Meredith Wilson's inspiration for River City. (Thank you, Google Maps.)

Anyway, that caused me to do a rare DVD checkout from the Portsmouth Public Library, so I could compare and contrast. Each had its special qualities.

The stage company did a great job, but they didn't even try to duplicate the movie's "76 Trombones" finale; that would have been daunting.