Pun Salad

Newt Gingrich rescued his campaign from oblivion by reminding South Carolina Republicans that he's not afraid to tackle the singlemost big issue facing the country: the silly left-wing media, embodied (this week) by John King of CNN.

Fearless prediction: in Monday's debate in Tampa, NBC's Brian Williams will ask Newt a question of dubious relevance; Newt will throw a pie at Williams in response. The audience will give Newt a standing ovation.

So, anyway, Newt has requalified for inclusion in our phony poll due to his rebound at Intrade:

• Professor Don Boudreaux shares a letter he wrote to the Wall Street Journal about attacks on Romney's time at Bain Capital:

  It's no surprise that Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry each attacks the perfectly appropriate capitalist activities that Mitt Romney performed during his time at Bain Capital ("Romney Lashes Back on Bain," Jan. 12): Gingrich and Perry are politicians, each desperate to delude voters into believing that he - and not Romney or anyone else - is fit to exercise the dizzying powers that today are vested in the U.S. presidency. Therefore, neither of these men will honor any principle or respect any truth if doing so will cost him votes; nor will either man refrain from any slander or shun any chicanery the practice of which will, in his estimation, beguile the masses into elevating him into the ostentation of the Oval Office.

  But, of course, Romney's own flip-flop on the health-care issue and his absurd attack on Americans who buy Chinese-made goods prove that he, too, is of the species politicus duplicitus - and, therefore, deserving of no sympathy.

  Prof Don expresses the theme of our Phony series very well.

• At Reason, Peter Suderman amplifies just how well that politicus duplicitus tag applies to Mitt:

  There are two main things to remember about Mitt Romney. First, he's been on multiple sides of most every major issue. Second, he's currently on whatever side is most politically convenient.

  Romney isn't some garden variety legislative flip-flopper who's changed his mind a few times or reversed support for a few pieces of legislation; he's a true political shape shifter whose core political principles and beliefs are almost impossible to determine.

  Suderman reviews the leaked McCain opposition research on Romney from 2008 and concludes: "You may not know exactly which Romney is going to show up once in office, but it's a safe bet that it won't be the one people voted for. "

  On the other hand…

• President Obama issued his first campaign ad. You can watch it at the WaPo's Fact Checker column, which awarded it three out a possible four "Pinocchios". Among the most amusing fibs:

  Then, in bold type, the ad proclaims: President Obama "kept a campaign promise to toughen ethics rules" and it cites: "PolitiFact, 1/21/09."

  Politifact did write that on Jan. 21, 2009, but then it almost immediately changed its ruling as Obama began granting waivers to his ethics policy.

  The GOP nominee, whoever he is, will have to put on more staff to compete with Obama on phoniness. Because…

• Sometimes it seems that the Obama campaign has made a conscious decision to rub our collective noses in its phony droppings. Quoting Andrew Malcolm:

  Hey, Mr. President! You've just destroyed the Keystone XL pipeline project and thousands of new union jobs. What are you gonna do now?

  "I'm going to Disney World."

  And he did. Phony detail: ostensibly to promote tourism, Obama's visit to the Magic Kingdom's Main Street caused it to be shut down for actual tourists.

  Among those belaboring the obvious was Newt Gingrich.

  "I think to close half of Magic Kingdom for the purpose of a White House invitation town hall meeting on a phony main street on behalf of a phony president just strikes me as weird. This is one of those things historians will write about," Gingrich said to a crowd of about 500 people sitting in the theater at Magnolia Hall.

  "I want you to think about the president standing with Mickey Mouse on one side and Goofy on the other," Gingrich continued. "And I'll let you decide which Cabinet office he'll likely offer to the two of them while he's there."

  Gawrsh!