Pun Salad

Well, it's Halloween. Don't forget to check out that full moon tonight!

In the spirit of the day, let's check out Google's opinion on how scary the major-party Presidential candidates seem to be. If you've been paying attention, and there's not the slightest reason you should have been, you know that President Bone Spurs consistently out-hits Wheezy Joe on phoniness. Somewhat surprisingly, the Internet finds Biden significantly scarier than Trump:

Warning: Google result counts are bogus.

• A Pinteresting person has accumulated a pile of memes: 10+ Creepy Joe Biden ideas in 2020. Google's apparently smart enough to include that at the top of our scary search.

  But for those who prefer video: Creepy Joe Biden's Greatest Hits

• At the Boston Herald (the good Boston paper), Grace Curly has a Scary thought: Biden won’t be the worst part of a Biden presidency

  But if you think that Biden will be making policy decisions, well, you haven’t been tuning in to his press conferences. (I am not suggesting you tune in to these teleprompter performances.)

  But if you think that Biden will be making policy decisions, well, you haven’t been tuning in to his press conferences. (I am not suggesting you tune in to these teleprompter performances.)

  So who will be running the show if Biden becomes the 46th President of the United States?

  Most likely, it will be a smorgasbord of power-hungry puppeteers.

  There will be plenty of loyal lackeys from the Obama years.

  Ben Rhodes, Dan Pfeiffer and Samantha Vinograd, to name a few.

  […]

  As for Dr. Jill, I’m going to let Whoopi Goldberg take this one:

  “I’m hoping Dr. Jill becomes the Surgeon General, his wife … She would never do it but, yeah, she’s a hell of a doctor. She’s an amazing doctor.”

  I agree, Whoopi.

  Besides the fact that Jill is not a medical doctor, what could possibly go wrong?

  Dr. Jill has received a Doctor of Education (Ed.D.), like Dr. Bill Cosby.

• But we shouldn't leave the Donald off the hook: Creepy Trump.

• Vanity Fair author Eric Lutz thinks he's figured out Trump's Campaign Strategy: Scare the Bejesus Out Of Older Voters. I believe that's spelled "bejeezus", Eric.

  In the advertisement, an elderly woman sits on the couch in her darkened living room. She’s watching Fox News, where Sean Hannity is taking Joe Biden to task for seeking to defund police departments—a position that the Democratic nominee has not actually adopted, much to the chagrin of some in his party’s progressive wing. As she shakes her head at the television, a masked man creeps around her house and attempts to jimmy open her door with a crowbar. She tries to call the police, but to no avail; the phone rings in an empty station. “Hello, you’ve reached 9-1-1,” says a voice on the answering machine. “I’m sorry that there is no one here to answer your emergency call. But leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.” The intruder finally breaks in and comes after the woman, who drops the phone in horror.

  All those ads telling me that Trump's gonna kill oldsters with Covid-19, then wipe out whoever's left by yanking their Social Security? I guess those aren't meant to scare me.

• And on Bored Panda… Donald Trump Stars In Classic Horror Movie Scenes. And … here's Donald!

  

• But for most of us, the scariest thing about the election is that whoever wins will take it upon himself to tell us how to live, what to do, what to buy (and what not to buy), etc. … whether we voted for him or not.